I Dream While I Wait

A servant, a lover, but so far away,
With only the thought of your dome,
I beg and pray to rest at the place,
That my soul believes to be home.

How many times I have called on you,
Now only God can have counted,
To all the tears that have left longing eyes,
My calls to you have amounted.

Feeling incomplete, life stretches on,
But it is only one thing I await;
To set eyes on your shrine and set foot on your dust,
That place they call heaven's gate.

I write and I pray with nothing but hope,
For what else, in my soul, can there be?
So with strength, I sit, and I dream while I wait,
To discover His honoured decree.

With no words left to write, I wonder,
If my pain can be understood,
If my soul was my ink and your soul my paper,
Then write forever, I would.

I stare at these words with frustration,
For my longing cannot be described,
But in my half broken heart live these verses,
My longing, forever inscribed.

I Return

Weeping and forgetful, here I stand,
Through aged fingers slips the aged sand,
In this cruel desert, I can no longer burn,
So off my high horse, to you I return,
With my head bowed full of guilt and shame,
I dare to utter your beautiful name,
Show me your mercy, just this last time,
I promise you now, no more of that crime,
Help me remember, and enter my heart,
For remembering is the one hardest part,
When I am empty, you are my fill,
And when I stand helpless, you are my will,
Alone, I am but a bundle of needs,
An accumulation of embarrassing deeds,
So guide me, stay with me, let my love grow,
And maybe, of all this, I will simply let go.

A Poem

Day and night, you fill my mind,
Making peace so rare to find,
I wonder how and where you are,
In the darkness, my shining star,
The same questions, I always ask,
Yet to find an answer seems a task,
But I search with hope of seeing you,
When there is no more I can do,
And though I have not seen you yet,
In my heart, there’s no regret,
This searching puts my soul at rest,
For there is blessing in every test,
Perhaps it is the gift of time,
A chance to erase a life of crime,
Or better still, to yearn for you,
When there’s no deed I’d rather do,
Save to fight right by your side,
My master, my friend, my only guide.

Just A Thought

This has been playing on my mind for quite a while now, but I think it makes sense, so here goes...

If I was part of an army, or navy, or any organisation that serves to represent a nation with an ideology, then I would base my whole life around this. I would marry a patriot, make sure my children were patriotic, didn't break the laws of my country, I would dissociate myself from any opponents of my nation, possibly even from people associated with opponents. My whole life- all my decisions, friendships and enemities, plans- would revolve around serving that nation, and helping it towards success.

In the same way, for people who consider themselves the servants of the Imam (a.f.), shouldn't our lives also be built around the cause of the Imam (a.f.)? I feel like the fact that we can't see him has made us forget our duty towards him, when in fact, it is very much the same case as the aforementioned one, possibly even greater a responsibility, as it will impact our hereafter too.

Waiting For You

Waiting for you, I remain in this world,
Hoping to see your mystery unfurled,
With a glimmer of hope, I am still here,
Yet not knowing if you are far or near,
But that glimmer of hope, it keeps me alive,
The dream to serve you just helps me survive,
I will not tell you to hurry to me,
Perhaps I am not what I really should be,
But for you, I will wait right till end,
So my then shattered heart, you are able to mend,
I will stay strong for your day of return,
And maybe by then, I’ll have a bit less to learn.

The Source And Resources

There was once a queen who, one day, decided that she would grant her subjects whatever wish they put forward. People asked for money, houses, maybe in today's world, a Mercedes, holiday villa, private jet, what have you. One man, however, asked for something very different. He asked her to marry him. The queen was very taken aback, but nonetheless, she remained undismissive. She told him that she would marry him on the condition that he could provide a substantial justification for his wish. And he did. He said that while others were ignorantly asking for their petty desires, he was asking for the source of these things. If he married her, he would have acquired all the things that her other subjects were asking for.

Why do we make the mistakes that the queen's other subjects made? We know who the source of all our sustainance, happiness, satisfaction, content, and every other desirable entity is, and yet we run desperately after His resources. We forget. We are trying to use God.

I hope you understand my point, and if you do, then inshAllah the following line from Du3a Abu Hamza Thumali will be of benefit to you:

اللّهُمَّ إنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ أَنْ تَمْلأ قَلْبِي حُبّاً لَكَ وَخَشْيَةً مِنْكَ


O' my Lord! I ask You to saturate my heart with Your love, fearing and observing You...

If God answers this prayer for you, then what need is there to run after anything?