For a very, very long time, I honestly didn't understand what people meant when they said to 'be patient' in difficult times. How can you be patient? It seemed to me like a passive state, more than anything else. If someone's mother is suffering from terminal cancer, what can they do? They don't have a choice but to deal with it. If someone dies, if I fail my exams, if what I want doesn't happen, if my plans are demolished to crumbs, what can I really do except accept it and move on?
I even brought this up with friends- what did it mean to be patient? And as much as some of them might have tried to explain it to me, I never really understood until I was thrown into the deep end- the end of experience. I finally grasped that to be patient wasn't actually a passive state, a state of helpless idleness. It's an active challenge.
We live in a society where we like to be in control- just look at people's new year's resolutions- we want to control our diet, we want to control our smoking, we want to control our bodies by working out and going to the gym, we want to control the use of our time. We want to control everything and anything, and the greater level of control we are able to exercise over these aspects of our lives, the more successful we feel. But more difficult than any of these- more difficult than controlling our food, our bodies or our time- is controlling our minds. And that's exactly what we're doing when we exercise patience, and I suppose that's why there's so much emphasis on patience in the Qur'an and from the Ahlulbayt (a.s).
Often when we are in tough situations, when things aren't going to plan, we try and resist the will of God without realising it. We might complain, we might drown in our tears of self pity, we might even try ridiculous things and go to laughable lengths to try and fix or change situations, which any outside spectator would easily tell us are out of our control. Why do we do this? It's non-sensical- nobody has or ever will win against the will of God, so why do we even bother? I guess it's because deep down, we believe that we know what's best for us. What we want in those instances is what we truly believe we need. We basically let our minds run riot, go with the flow of an emotional tantrum which often ends in resentment and bitterness. Essentially, we lose control of our thoughts.
I'm not sure if the translation of the word 'Sabr' into English as 'patience' is 100% accurate- perhaps this is partly why I used to have trouble grasping the concept. When I thought of Sabr, I thought about waiting. But waiting for what? Now (post eureka revelation), I think we're waiting to see what God has planned for us. I apologise for the seemingly trivial analogy, but I think it fits- imagine there is a dress (or a suit or a pair of shoes) that I really want to buy. I'm crazy about it, I feel like if I don't purchase it, I'll be missing out big-time. Unfortunately, my university fees increase (thanks to the oh so faithful coalition government) and suddenly the item that I wanted so badly, is no longer in my reach. Eventually, the dress sells out. Instead of waiting it out until later when my financial situation is better, I fight with the university for the unpleasant surprise, I try and dig out old savings unsuccessfully, I hit eBay and look up every 'fake' version of the dress available, I look for cheaper versions which sadly are noticeably tackier, I even go off to other stores to see if I can just buy several less pricy ones just to make myself feel like I'm still in control, that in fact, I didn't miss out earlier.
Cheesy analogy, I know, but the point I am trying to make is, sometimes we fail to wait it out- we despair, we try and resist, we try and compensate, and often we simply end up selling ourselves short in the process. While patience is difficult (understatement, I'm sure you'll agree), impatience is far more exhausting. Wouldn't it just be easier if we accepted that our so-called knowledge of what's good for us, is a fraction of a fraction of the knowledge that our Creator has?
There's a mind-blowing statement of Imam Ali (a.s) that is engrained in my mind- someone once asked him, 'How did you get to know your Lord?' Imam Ali (a.s) responded, 'I got to know Him through the fact that I would make a decision, and then all my plans would fall apart.'
May Allah grant us all forbearance, patience, and utmost faith in His plan in our tribulations.
