Falling In Love

My second entry on this blog was not, as many of my other entries are, old thoughts that had taken time to articulate into words. Rather, that entry was exactly what and how I felt at the time. It was a new view- a new, unpresedented feeling. I felt like my eyes had finally opened. When I look back, I wonder how on Earth I could have been so blind to the message of Imam Hussein (as) for so long. At the same time, I feel blessed for God to have allowed me to find it.

As time has passed over the recent months, this feeling has grown into something much more beautiful- something more from the soul as opposed to mere intellect. I feel unexplainably fortunate when I look back at the seemingly insignificant things that have caused me to feel the way I do. Small things- seeing someone dedicate their services to Imam Hussein (as), things people have said in passing about him, and my own pondering and admiration for his stand for justice.

My feelings are difficult to put into words. To say the least, this feeling can no longer be contained within myself- I need to do something and show him how I feel. I want the world to know how great he was despite its inability to do him any justice. I want to stand for whatever he stood for and be one to defend what he defended and fight what he fought. I want to be loyal to him.

If this is not falling in love, I really don't know what is.

The Tears In The Darkness

In the hour of darkness, you woke me,
You inspired me to sit there, awake,
We struggled, we talked and I cried,
Trying, my shell of ego, to break.

At first, I remained persistent,
I clung to the old, fading mask,
But with time and tears, you won over,
By the many questions you'd ask.

With each answer I sobbed, it dawned,
That you were easing my soul into peace,
You rescued it from the sea of confusion,
And from longing, you gave it release.

Through all the tears in the darkness,
I admitted what you already knew,
I wept, that behind all this courage,
I was desperately craving for you.

Those that  usurped your place in my heart,
Began to flow out with my tears,
And my heart began to fill with your love,
Like never, in these solitary years.

In the darkness, my tears were a blessing,
For, after crying, I could finally see,
And in my soul full of thanks, a fire had ignited,
A light- a reason to be.

I Dream While I Wait

A servant, a lover, but so far away,
With only the thought of your dome,
I beg and pray to rest at the place,
That my soul believes to be home.

How many times I have called on you,
Now only God can have counted,
To all the tears that have left longing eyes,
My calls to you have amounted.

Feeling incomplete, life stretches on,
But it is only one thing I await;
To set eyes on your shrine and set foot on your dust,
That place they call heaven's gate.

I write and I pray with nothing but hope,
For what else, in my soul, can there be?
So with strength, I sit, and I dream while I wait,
To discover His honoured decree.

With no words left to write, I wonder,
If my pain can be understood,
If my soul was my ink and your soul my paper,
Then write forever, I would.

I stare at these words with frustration,
For my longing cannot be described,
But in my half broken heart live these verses,
My longing, forever inscribed.

I Return

Weeping and forgetful, here I stand,
Through aged fingers slips the aged sand,
In this cruel desert, I can no longer burn,
So off my high horse, to you I return,
With my head bowed full of guilt and shame,
I dare to utter your beautiful name,
Show me your mercy, just this last time,
I promise you now, no more of that crime,
Help me remember, and enter my heart,
For remembering is the one hardest part,
When I am empty, you are my fill,
And when I stand helpless, you are my will,
Alone, I am but a bundle of needs,
An accumulation of embarrassing deeds,
So guide me, stay with me, let my love grow,
And maybe, of all this, I will simply let go.

A Poem

Day and night, you fill my mind,
Making peace so rare to find,
I wonder how and where you are,
In the darkness, my shining star,
The same questions, I always ask,
Yet to find an answer seems a task,
But I search with hope of seeing you,
When there is no more I can do,
And though I have not seen you yet,
In my heart, there’s no regret,
This searching puts my soul at rest,
For there is blessing in every test,
Perhaps it is the gift of time,
A chance to erase a life of crime,
Or better still, to yearn for you,
When there’s no deed I’d rather do,
Save to fight right by your side,
My master, my friend, my only guide.

Just A Thought

This has been playing on my mind for quite a while now, but I think it makes sense, so here goes...

If I was part of an army, or navy, or any organisation that serves to represent a nation with an ideology, then I would base my whole life around this. I would marry a patriot, make sure my children were patriotic, didn't break the laws of my country, I would dissociate myself from any opponents of my nation, possibly even from people associated with opponents. My whole life- all my decisions, friendships and enemities, plans- would revolve around serving that nation, and helping it towards success.

In the same way, for people who consider themselves the servants of the Imam (a.f.), shouldn't our lives also be built around the cause of the Imam (a.f.)? I feel like the fact that we can't see him has made us forget our duty towards him, when in fact, it is very much the same case as the aforementioned one, possibly even greater a responsibility, as it will impact our hereafter too.

Waiting For You

Waiting for you, I remain in this world,
Hoping to see your mystery unfurled,
With a glimmer of hope, I am still here,
Yet not knowing if you are far or near,
But that glimmer of hope, it keeps me alive,
The dream to serve you just helps me survive,
I will not tell you to hurry to me,
Perhaps I am not what I really should be,
But for you, I will wait right till end,
So my then shattered heart, you are able to mend,
I will stay strong for your day of return,
And maybe by then, I’ll have a bit less to learn.